Easy roast chicken

Growing up, my mother routinely cooked chicken for Shabbat dinner on Friday night.  It seemed decent to start, but as I got older it got less and less acceptable.  You might be familiar with the bird I'm talking about: dry, crumbly breast meat and flabby, chewy skin coated in stale paprika were common.  I still loved eating roast chicken, but I knew something better was out there.  Mom cooked her chicken in a covered roaster pan at 325ºF.  Really, she could have done better.

Like many recipes, this one initially came about as part of an accident.  I was used to cooking my chicken at 375º, uncovered; but while the breast was good, the skin was still mediocre.  One day I started cooking the bird at too high a heat, then realized my mistake and tried to deal with it by some low heat cooking.  It turned out beautifully, actually, with perfectly done breast, thighs and skin.  However, it was still a little labor intensive.  I have tried a variety of temperatures and methods.  This isn't quite the easiest, because you have to flip your bird once, but it is still pretty darn easy.

Here's the method I use to roast my chickens, which are usually five to five and a half pounds.  When it is on the high end I may add another minute or two to the cooking time.

Preheat your oven to 425ºF and get out your proper-sized roaster pan.  Get out your fresh or properly-thawed chicken.  I prefer fresh.  Remove any giblets or other things the meat packer may have packed in the cavity of the bird, like the neck.  It's a good idea to rinse your bird with the coldest water your sink can offer, inside and out, then pat it dry, but if your bird is especially fresh and not smelly you can skip this if you are in a rush.

Place your chicken on your roaster pan, breast side down.  Put it in the oven for 45 minutes.  Use a timer if you have one, it's better for your personal wear and tear.  At the end of 45 minutes, take your chicken out of the oven and flip it to breast side up.  Now, cook it for another 30 minutes.  At the end of that time, take your chicken out of the oven, turn off your oven unless you have something else cooking in it,  and walk away for at least 5 minutes, preferably 10.  If you have a cat, be careful of where you place your chicken.  You do not want cat spit on your carefully roasted bird.  Now, cut into your chicken and serve to your hungry, hungry guests.  It won't be rotisserie chicken, but it should be even juicier.

Enjoy!

A Red Sauce Recipe in 4/4 time

Two onions chopped up very fine, a pepper finer still
A portobello mushroom, maybe sauteed maybe grilled
A handful of tomatoes, skinned and seeded sliced and chopped
And a little bit of carrot minced up fine and closely cropped

I can't cook a thing without my chopping knife
I can't cook a thing without my chopping knife
I've never used another in all my blessed life
No I can't cook a thing without my chopping knife

A little roasted garlic, two bulbs or maybe three
A scoop of roasted eggplant will make good company
Some sundried tomatoes, julienned would do the trick
And olive oil, just enough so nothing's gonna stick

I can't cook a thing without my cutting board
I can't cook a thing without my cutting board
It was here when we were packing but I don't know where it's stored
No I can't cook a thing without my cutting board

Some parsley leaves, some basil, a bay leaf for a while
A dash of cayenne pepper sauce is sure to bring a smile
Some black and white ground pepper and oregano for spice
I can smell the sauce throughout the house its come out really nice

I can't cook a thing without my gallon pot
I can't cook a thing without my gallon pot
The darn thing was in the cupboard but now I find it's not
No I can't cook a thing without my gallon pot
Oh I can't cook a thing without my gallon pot


OK, let's just call out for Chinese.




And yes, not only have I cooked this recipe, I have sung this song.

Pasta Shopping Basics and Garlic Bread

For all that I do enjoy a variety of food, one of my favorites is pasta in a red sauce. Now, people's tastes do vary when it comes to the shape of the pasta they like or the type of sauce they enjoy. I know some people who will only eat homemade sauce in their home, and I know others who just get a jar of whatever is cheapest regardless of who makes it. The same is true for pasta - some people only eat fresh pasta, others buy whatever box is least expensive at the time, and then there are the people who go out to eat for pasta and sauce, be it from their neighborhood pizza place or something a bit more upscale. While I like enjoying a good dinner out, I have a simple rule of thumb: unless I am exhausted or far away from home, never eat out what I can cook as well at home.

If your budget is really tight but you have a little bit of leeway for dining in to keep yourself from dining out, buying good pre-made pasta and sauce can keep you from paying more dining out.

When shopping for dry pasta, I have four things I look for aside from the price tag:

1. The shape of the pasta.  Texture matters to many people, and there’s a big difference between angel hair and tagliatelle, not to mention elbows and radiatorre.  Choose what works well for you.  Take it from me, getting spaghetti when you prefer linguini is a drag.  If you enjoy both equally, more power to you.
2. The pasta must be bronze die cut.  Most modern pasta manufacturers in the US try to keep their pasta as smooth as possible for easy shipping and storage.  Unfortunately, this results in very slippery pasta that doesn’t hold a sauce unless the sauce is really sticky.  Bronze dies make the pasta rougher, meaning that even linguini and spaghetti can hold onto your sauce.  
3. On occasion I want pasta made with eggs.  Not many megamarts carry dry pasta made this way.  It is more expensive, often rivaling or exceeding the price of buying fresh pasta from a corner fresh pasta store, plus it takes up more shelf space to boot.  However, it is generally richer and more toothsome than other dried pasta.  
4. On rare occasions I want a flavored pasta, commonly spinach.  Hey, I like spinach!  Only get a flavored dry pasta if you don't have a corner fresh pasta place near you, as fresh pasta will almost always have better flavor than dry.

Now, hunting for pre-made sauce means looking for different things, and unlike with pasta it’s more a list of Nots. Here are four things to avoid:

1. Lots of added of sugar unless you have problems with acid.  A few sauces will add concentrated fruit juice, which is similar in effect but at least adds a little more flavor.
2. Soybean oil.  This is the cheapest oil on the market, and it’s just not all that thrilling.  Extra virgin olive oil is the gold standard, but regular olive oil, grapeseed oil or canola oil will do in a pinch.
3. Dehydrated vegetables.  They’re probably rehydrated properly, but fresh beats freeze-dried in just about anything -- plus, sometimes they don’t rehydrate properly.
4. High sodium.  I have to avoid lots of salt for health reasons, but lots of people eat a lot more than the RDA.  More importantly, salt is a common flavor enhancer that can partly mask a lack of spices.  Generally speaking, the higher the salt count, the lower the spice count.

I generally try to keep my sauce purchases under $3 per 26 ounce jar, though I have gone slightly higher on occasion. I like several flavors of red sauce, from fra diavolo to marinara to vodka cream sauce; but for me the texture is equally as important. I don’t like sauces where vegetables weep water, nor do I like my sauces particularly chunky. Your tastes are probably different than mine, and that’s fine.

Here’s a simple recipe for roasted garlic cloves and garlic-flavored oil. Garlic oil is very good for salad dressings, cooking, and repelling vampires. Roasted garlic cloves are much milder and sweeter than raw garlic, and are good in anything you’d normally flavor with garlic. You can make an excellent garlic bread by toasting your Italian or sourdough bread, lightly buttering it, then spreading your roasted garlic cloves on top much like butter. 

The recipe is dead simple if you know where to find pre-shelled garlic cloves. Large quantities from a discount club, like Costco or BJs, come in very handy for this.  The roasted garlic should keep in your fridge for at least a month (usually several months), while the oil should stay good in the fridge for a year at least.  Do refrigerate them both!

Hardware:

Oven

oven-safe dish, such as a casserole dish

slotted spoon

two containers, one suitable for storing liquids

Ingredients:

enough pre-shelled garlic cloves to fill your dish halfway

enough oil to basically cover your garlic - olive (either regular or light, NOT extra virgin), canola, grapeseed and safflower are all suitable choices

Preheat your oven to 325ºF.  Put your garlic in your oven-safe dish and cover with the oil. Cook for about an hour, up to 10 minutes either way. Remove from the oven and test. When your garlic is golden and a fork can easily slip into a clove without any resistance, it’s done. Using your slotted spoon, put your newly-roasted garlic cloves in one container, your new garlic-infused oil in another container, and let them cool for at least an hour. When they’ve cooled down enough, put them in your fridge and take them back out whenever you want.

Have a good dinner!

Of food and friends

A good title is one that a friend bestows on you and that fits you well - your talents, your personality, your life. Before I talk about food I would like to talk about my title.

Many years ago, long past the statute of limitations, I went to visit my then-girlfriend. She lived a couple of towns over but I figured I'd surprise her. She was out at the time, but her other boyfriend was visiting from across the state for the weekend. This was a small surprise to me as I hadn't heard he was coming to town. We chatted after I entered the apartment. I wished she was there, for obvious reasons, but I was glad to see him as he was a friend. 

He took another hit off the bong he had placed on her kitchen table. He'd politely offered me a drag from the bong, and I politely refused as it just wasn't my thing. After a little catching up he said, "I'm hungry!" I guess it was something he smoked. 

"Let's go get lunch," I replied. I was pretty hungry myself and generally have a pretty healthy appetite.

He wasn't familiar with the town, so I brought him to my favorite Chinese restaurant. It was a comfortable sit-down affair with very good food and excellent lunch specials, a place which now only exists in memory. We ordered a total of three luncheons for the two of us - exactly what I can't remember for the life of me, but one was his, one was mine and one we agreed on - with one bowl of wonton soup for him, one bowl of egg drop soup for me, and one more bowl of egg drop soup for a spare. This place made its egg drop with bits of diced tomato, a sprinkling of scallion and a good salt level, and it was my gold standard for years. After we each ate our bowls I was eyeing the second bowl of egg drop hungrily; but even hungry as I was, I asked him, "Have you had egg drop before?"

"No," he answered.

I pushed the bowl toward him. "You should try a spoonful. If you don't like it I'll eat it."

He took a spoonful. "This is great! Tons better than wonton!" he exclaimed, eating the rest of the soup. I admit I would have liked the bowl, but I was pretty pleased that I had introduced him to something he enjoyed that he hadn't tried before.

When we were done with lunch, we stopped by the Italian pastry shop all of a block away from the restaurant, a place still doing a thriving trade all these years later. I enjoyed eating my rum balls, a confection of little pastry balls filled with custard, dipped in chocolate ganache, soaked in rum and served with whipped cream. As we ate dessert, I remember a distinct conversation about him finding a copy of "The Little Golden Book of Psychoactive Drugs" in a library somewhere. I have never heard mention of such a book before or since, but it was a fun discussion.

I ended up going home that afternoon, which was fine. Sometime in the next few days, when I next visited my girlfriend, she told me that her other boyfriend was raving about the meal. She quoted him: "The man is a foodgod! Not only did he manage to get me stuffed, he did it for under $10!"

Times do change. My girlfriend from back then, last I knew, had taken steps to change to a man and was getting his Master's degree. He doesn't like me at all and hasn't for many years, if he even thinks of me. The other fellow, well, I see him around the 'net sometimes but we don't say hi. He's still on good terms with my ex-, last I knew, and he may share his opinion of me. I wish both of them well. 

Regardless of present circumstances with them, this memory is one I cherish. It is always sweet, never bitter, and barring dementia I will treasure it for the rest of my life.